The Holidays Offline: Part One 🎄

A Mindful Approach to Christmas Traditions and Joy

The last thing you need this time of year is another checklist of things you have to do. Even things you want to do, begin to feel like tasks you have to tick off that list.

That’s why, we’re giving you the gift of… another checklist. But don’t get scared, this is a good one. This is one that helps us keep ourselves in “check” during an insanely fun but busy time in our lives.

☑ First on the list? Dropping something from your list.

No, for real.

Find something on your list that you either can’t really afford to do or can’t afford to spend time on.

In other words, reanalyze your list.

We give ourselves to-do lists and then punish ourselves if we don’t accomplish the things on them, all in the name of fun, love, and tradition.

Often times Christmas is only as stressful as we make it- with room for exceptions.

You can’t really change the date of your kid’s Christmas Program, but you can clear other things that are crowding in around it.

If I can help it, and usually I can, I don’t do anything the day before or day after a big, planned event. If I do, I make sure it’s something small and relaxing. It’s either on my own, or with the kiddos- but with the understanding that it should be chill.

On the days we do have something going on, we make it special. If they have a program, we’ll bring them flowers (or in our boys’ case an Xbox game) and take them out for dinner or ice cream afterwards. It becomes the focus, rather than one of many obligations stuffed into that day.

In the past few years, we’ve looked at things on our list that have been there for a decade and asked, “Is this still something important to us, necessary, life-giving?” If not, we take it off. This decision doesn’t have to be permanent, but a lot of times it sets us free from the confining bonds of the dark side of tradition.

I’m someone who loves cute little warm and meaningful traditions. But I also know the dark cold tentacles it can hook into us, forcing us to do things we don’t want to do anymore, but feel we have to do “or else.”

Now, I don’t mean stop going to your grandparents’ house to make cookies because it’s inconvenient. I’m talking about things like “we must have sipping-chocolate from this exact place every year even though it’s out of our way, and expensive, and the boys never finish it.” Believe me, it took me four years to let that tradition leave my list.

Instead of completely killing it, I simply set it to the back, in a box that I can take out if I want to. If we happen to be in the area in the next few weeks, and we want to stop in, how fun! But am I shoving the need to go there into our already packed schedule? No.

And you wouldn’t believe what a huge difference that small step makes to my mental health.

Then I focus on the things we all love to do as a family. Matt doesn’t like being cold, but we still love sledding with the boys for an hour or so at that one park with the really good hill. It doesn’t take our entire day, and we love to have cocoa afterwards. That’s a tradition that stays on the list.

I can’t bake or eat 12 dozen Christmas cookies that I make and exchange with friends, but now that I’ve set boundaries, I really enjoy making 2 dozen cookies to share with them (and I feel a lot less stressed that I’m going to eat 12 dozen of them in the next few weeks).

☑ Second on our list is… to make a list!

We’re weird, okay?

This list — available as a free printable download — should have three columns… Always, Sometimes, and Never.

List the things that you Always look forward to this time of year, the ones you Sometimes enjoy doing, and the ones that Never bring you joy. You might even be surprised that things which used to bring you joy, don’t anymore. Sometimes that just means it needs a simple adjustment, but it also might mean (if it’s negotiable) it should be taken off the to-do list.

When you remove something from your annual tradition list, assess this at the end of the season. If you get into the New Year, and realize you didn’t miss the thing you cut, keep it off of next year’s plans.

☑ Number three on the list is to add to your list.

I know, I know! That’s all wrong.

But add simplicity to your list. Do small things together, that make lifelong memories. One night last week, for just a half an hour, we shut off all electronic devices (aside from music), lit candles, and sat in the glow of the Christmas tree lights.

Seriously, we just sat there, soaking it in. The darkening sky, the twinkling lights, and eventually started to talk about stuff. Life. Music. Things 11 and 13-year old boys talk about- sometimes funny, sometimes serious, sometimes questions.

It didn’t take our entire night. It took hardly any time at all, especially when we look at how much time we can accidentally give to scrolling on devices.

That small time was meaningful.

It’s the same with games. Matt and I play games with the boys, often for only about 15-20 minutes per game, and that small amount of time given, has long lasting payoff. The memories are meaningful.

☑ And the Fourth thing on our list is mindfulness. Very Zen of us, right?

Look at yourself, your friend, your spouse, your kids, your parents, and help them take the breaks they need too. Or maybe they don’t mind being busy, but like their work to be recognized.

You might have to help them cut things from their own list- maybe it’s something they do for you. Or it might be as simple as telling them thank-you for always being the one to wrap the gifts, or plan the events, or buy the matching PJs.

Mindfulness for our family at this time of year, looks like us sitting together and lighting the Advent candles. 🕯️ Reading about what this season means and thinking of what others mean to us. Advent candles weren’t always a tradition in our families, but we added them to our list, and for us, they’ve become an Always.

This season is all about Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. If your list looks more like stress and money to you, then something needs adjusting.

Good luck! Good cheer! And Merry Christmas!🎄

Oh, and I’ll let you know how cutting out sipping chocolate at Cosetta’s goes this year.