It's Hard to Yell When You're Eating a Donut
DT Stories... The Communicative Magic of Food
At the core of celebrations and gatherings that so many hold so dear… is food.
Food brings us together and is deeply rooted in all cultures. When we meet friends, it’s often for coffee or a meal. When we celebrate national holidays, we gather together with food on our tables. Birthdays and weddings are celebrated with meals and cakes. Movies have popcorn and candy. Where we gather, food follows.
Most major religions address food. Consider Christmas, Easter, Eid al-Adha, Holi, Feast of Seven Fishes, Passover Seder, Yom Kippur, Pancake Day, and Diwali. All of these (and all the ones I was too lazy to list), include meals with religious origin and value. There are times of restraint and fasting, like Lent and Ramadan, but these are followed by gathering to break the fast and feast. Even the foundation of Christian communion stems from Christ’s final meal with the disciples.
Food is a bit of a marvel.
There’s nothing like Grandma’s famous pie when no one else knows the recipe. I can’t go to the State Fair without wanting Martha’s cookies and an icy cup of milk. For our family, Fall requires apple cider and Trader Joe’s Maple cookies. Yes, there are Taco Tuesdays, but we also have Soup and Pancake day situated cozily on Thursdays (thanks to our family trip to Sweden). And what’s a soccer game with our kiddos, no matter the age, without snacks afterwards? Not only does food fuel our bodies, but it’s a shared experience of hospitality. It can be a unifier, a charmer, and a disarmer. This is why, even though it’s a staple in our lives, it’s also a magical communicative tool.
When we have something important, serious, or fun to talk to the boys about, we do it over food. Sometimes it’s a meal. Other times it’s Fika or even with a Slurpee. Food sets us at ease. When we need to chat with our kids or give them room to open up to us about ideas or a horrible school day, treats crack that door open and fill the room with ease, quicker than anything else.
When we eat together, there’s a natural pull towards sharing stories. Opening up to our kids and having them open up to us is all about setting the tone. Sure, for us an inviting atmosphere isn’t always food, but it’s sure a lot of fun when it is!
And if you know you struggle with keeping calm and not verbally assaulting your child on serious subjects, keep in mind it’s much harder to yell at them when you’re eating a donut.
As the world feels like it’s spinning farther from real interactions and meetups, it’s easy to lose the art of real conversation apart from our devices. And even when the discussion is about devices (as we suggest in Driver’s Training for Social Media), it’s so much better with a meal or treat.
If you foster a good environment for it, no matter how tough the talk is going to be, sharing a meal or treat together can improve the odds of it going well. There might even be parts of it that are deliciously good.
Driver’s Training for Social Media is accessible to “Behind the Curtains” annual subscribers. What’s included in the online course?
Four Modules with Twelve Videos
Reflection/Discussion Questions
Action Ideas and Additional Links and Resources
Printable Companion Guide with a Screen Time Tracker, Case Study Activity, and Media Plan.